intern diaries: the struggles

this time last year where everyone i knew was hustling and bustling, getting busy with internship opportunities while i was struggling. just struggling to even land an internship.

the struggles behind applying for internships that i wish people talked about more✨ because it was painful going about it alone and torturous to talk about it with adults that don’t quite understand.

if i had to put a number on it, i applied to over 40 companies (probably even more.. thank goodness for notion it is the best way to keep track of applications it is a life saver), i went for interviews, received rejection letter after letter and most of the time i got ghosted, left hanging.

but what i found to be the hardest part was when the people i consider dearest assume that i am not trying at all. constantly asking questions like, “why aren’t you taking up an internship?” and “you should apply earlier.” for some context, i started applying in October 2021 and the process was exhausting.

my inner voice screaming “i’ve been applying for over 7 months? how much earlier should i start?”

i didn’t quite figure out how else i could convey the message that i was trying and decided that i would simply stop trying to convince others that i am trying because the only person that needs to know how hard i am trying is me.

it was hard to block it out, it is similar to trying to study for a test in a market and it still is hard trying to block out things that don’t serve any good to me.

because it can get in your head, it got in mine. i questioned everything about myself, my capabilities, my worth, the skills that i am lacking. i was frustrated and couldn’t make sense of my frustrations. all I could do was try to claw my way out of the dark and working through all the noise.

i can’t say that everything is okay now but it is better. opportunities were offered and i can’t express how thankful to be able to get internships with companies like Mercedes Singapore and TikTok.

but for now, if you are going through the same struggles i hope that you know that you are enough and the right opportunities will come at the right time. keep your chin up.

#internship #interndiaries #thoughts #Lemon8Lifestyle