Auntiehood 🩷✨

“Auntiehood” as I like to call it 🩷

my life as their aunt as been the most rewarding. But I wanna talk a little bit about infertility. I have battled infertility for eight years now. There is two sides to infertility. The side we show you (the smiles). Then there’s the side you don’t see (the struggle). The struggle month after month of waiting. It’s trying to join in those conversations with others, by talking about your nieces or nephews just so you feel like you can relate. It’s having a fridge door full of cute baby announcements and shower invitations. It’s having to constantly answer the question, “when are you having kids?”. When I know they honestly mean well because they don’t know. It’s being told if you “just adopted”, or my favorite of all, “stop thinking about it”, or “take a break, then you would get pregnant.”. It’s all day long triggers in your face reminding you of everything you lack. It’s the medication after medication, the money we spend in doctor appointments alone. It’s constant heartbreak always having a negative pop up. It’s being hopeful and waiting expectantly only to be surprised when it once again it isn’t the month. It’s not knowing when the journey will end. It’s having hope the wait will be over soon while knowing the reality is that it might be many more years before it ends. It’s making yourself get up everyday and still live and provide. It’s the constant prayers. The “why do I have to go through this?”, “why me?!”. You ask how I’m doing, I respond with “I’m okay.”. But really I am terribly shattered. For the most beautiful & natural thing a woman can offer is life, and I can’t even get that right. I feel hopeless and ready to give up. There’s no real comfort in infertility. I’m suppose to show my happy. Social media is for all of your perfect moments. But life isn’t perfect. Some probably never knew I had infertility problems, because I never post personal information. But this is my story. So painful and raw. But, while I might bend, I won't break. I might fall, I will get back up. While I might lose my way for a bit, I'll find it again. And while my wave of emotions might sometimes overwhelm me and take me under, I'll always kick back up to the surface. Everything that infertility is, which is heartbreaking, dream shattering, and soul crushing; has made me fight for what it is not. And it is not going to win. 🤍 But I am definitely enjoying this auntie life that God has blessed me with!

#infertility #auntielifeisthebestlife #neices #nephews #mylife