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But first of all, I wish to debunk that extraversion is not based on the number of friends or how friendly you are - extroverts are people who are energised from social interactions, while introverts are energised from being on their own (i like to think of it as recharging! Using your phone while itโs charging slows down the charging right? ๐น๐ชซ)
Iโve had so many people mistake me for an extrovert just bc they see me as a โsocial butterflyโ (I make small talk & joke around with many people) ๐ฆ but no I very much prefer to limit my social time ๐
So hereโre some tips on how I network & socialise as an introvert!
๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท
Okay this is the most basic imo! You DONโT have to have many friends, and if you donโt know why you want to build your network, it makes it a lot harder for you to get out of your shell.
I think a lot about what kind of impression I want to leave amongst people, and I want to form MY own impression instead of letting other people comment that โhey I heard jasmine is like xxxโ & it turns out to be a misconception. So to make my mark & make it easier for me to have random convos with my colleagues (it makes me feel more at ease to be myself!) or in the most crucial times, (๐) get my colleaguesโ help / buy-in for anything, I decide to get out of my shell & make โfriendsโ with them!
The extra perk is that now my workplace is full of people I feel comfortable to make small talk with, it makes me feel so much at ease to speak up too โบ๏ธ
๐ ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ 1-1 ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ
Iโve been trying this since I started working in 2019 and I feel it has worked very well for me! Instead of throwing yourself into networking events or group settings, you can pace yourself by picking who you want to meet and establishing deeper connections with that 1 person. That way, you can focus on the conversations and impression you want to form, no stressing over what this whole group thinks of you!
๐ ๐๐ช๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ
I canโt stress this ENOUGH! As introverts, we want to be prudent with how we spend our energy, and as I laid out in front, we need our alone time to recharge!
I create these 1-1 settings via lunch & coffee breaks โ๏ธ when I first join a company, I leave my first week for settling down, and Week 2 onwards, itโs networking for me! I target to have at least 2-3 lunch / coffees per week so that I also have time to eat with my team / closer friends rather than burn myself out meeting new people.
Ofc you donโt have to make friends with EVERYONE. Once you feel like you know a comfortable number of people or you have already socialised everyone you want to, you can take a break and give yourself a pat on the back ๐๐ผ
๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ด ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฃ๐ธ๐น๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ผ
Maybe itโs just me, I have this imminent fear that I might touch on wrong topics! You CAN pick your topics ahead, and itโs usually better to consider neutral topics, so avoid controversial stuff esp if youโre talking to people for the first time ๐ bc most people in my current company are family people, Iโd ask them about their family and it seems they do enjoy sharing about it!
In a prev company where it was full of youngsters, itโs easier to relate & with people of similar profiles as myself, we usually talked about BTOs / trends etc :-) most people like to be listened to, so when you pick a topic that you can converse about & people feel excited to talk about, the convos can go smoother!
๐ ๐ฃ๐ช๐ฐ ๐๐ต๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ!
Still too shy to take the first step? Start small, go with someone you feel more comfortable with, and ask them if they can bring you out for lunch with ANOTHER of their friend. If odd number groups make you feel awkward, ask to bring YOUR own friend too - youโre helping others know someone new too!
Remember to return this favour to other introvert friends / colleagues and be THAT colleague that brings them along too ๐ฅฐ๐ซถ๐ผ
๐ ๐๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐ข๐ฝ๐ธ๐น ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ!
YES PLEASE DONโT JUST STOP AT ONE LUNCH / COFFEE CHAT!! Go for another a period of time later (it can really vary!) - I personally do it maybe once in at least 2 monthsโฆ? But this works well for me bc I do make small talk with these colleagues when I catch them informally!
It can be as simple as a โHi! How are you these days!!โ or as deep a conversation that dives into their recent struggles / successes. I think one key strength that introverts CAN have is to be attentive and relate to people, so embrace this strength of yours and extend that personability of yours. Remember that people like to feel โspecialโ, so when youโre able to remember the little, unique details about them, your affability goes ๐
๐ ๐๐ท๐ญ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฎ
Start from convincing yourself why you even want to network - and just saying, thereโs NOTHING wrong with wanting to keep to a small circle & just ignoring everything I write here ๐น
But if you do decide to embark on this, remember that you CAN network, and set little goals for yourself, whether itโs 1 new friend per week or in 2 weeks! Use your strengths as an introvert (relatability, personability, etc) to your advantage โญ๏ธ
YOU CAN DO IT!!! ๐ช๐ผ
#Introvert #adulting #Adulting101 #AdultingWoes #My9to5 #career #careeradvice #CareerTips #RealTalk #MyLemon8Diary