Let’s talk about FEAR💥

I was thinking about how a lot of my friends have told me (Bella) that I’m fearless. While I see this as one of the highest compliments, it’s of course not true!

I rarely suffer from fear of things (ex. heights, new experiences, insects, etc.) which is probably why my friends see me as fearless, but I am frequently subjected to fear of EMOTION. Fear of feeling hurt, inadequate, grief, humiliation, etc. Anyone else?

So how do we overcome fear so that we can live our best lives? How do we feel the fear and do it anyway? 💪

What I’ve found really useful is hitting the pause button; taking a deep breath, and really thinking the fear through. Trying to get to the root cause - what am I really afraid of? Most of the time, it’s gonna be some emotion that we’re scared to feel. For example: I’m scared to speak up in class / at work. Why? Because I’m scared of feeling humiliated, or inadequate. Or I’m scared to move away from home. Why? Because I’m scared of feeling like a failure if it doesn’t work out, or I’m scared of feeling sad because I miss my friends and family. You get the idea.

But, who’s to say I have to feel humiliated or inadequate if I speak up and people laugh at me, or say they don’t agree? Would it really be so bad to feel a little sad because I miss my friends and family?

The thing is, we create our own thoughts, which create our feelings. WE CREATE OUR OWN THOUGHTS, WHICH CREATE OUR FEELINGS 🤯

So…what if I just promised myself that I wouldn’t think I’m inadequate? If I were to speak up, and someone laughed at me, what if instead of thinking “I’m not good enough because they think I’m stupid”, I thought “that’s interesting that they laughed, but I’m proud of myself for being courageous and I know that their reaction isn’t a reflection on my self worth”? Thinking these different thoughts creates entirely different experiences.

As for the fear of grief and sadness - we all feel loss at times. And it can be a hard thing to feel. But if we honor our feelings by allowing them to be felt, and if we can trust in ourselves, trust that we are strong and capable of feeling these emotions, that we will find a way to be ok, then the fear of feeling these emotions can be diminished. And we can feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Plus, if we’re going to let fear get so much attention, how about we give an equal amount of attention to excitement and inspiration? How exciting it will be to move to a new place, and explore so many new things? How joyful a relationship with someone could be? How inspirational or helpful what we have to say could be to others? 💫

Daily affirmations, journaling about fears, and meditation are some ways that I’ve found helpful to tackle fear 💪

Fear is never going anywhere. It’s part of being human, and we will always feel it. The trick is to take fear out of the driver seat, and put it in the back seat instead. WE are in the driver’s seat. Sure, fear is tagging along with us, but we don’t have to let it dictate the gps.

#fearless #personaldevelopment #inspiration #newtolemon8 #advice