Exhausted Christian single girly here 😞

As a single Christian woman, I use dating apps to try to see what potential men might be out there, but all I get are duds after duds. Everyone claims to be a Christian, but with just a couple questions, you can usually figure out who’s who.

I wasn’t always a God honoring person & only came to the faith at 22 so I get why there’s not a ton of options left over for me, but I’ve seen an ex pornstar get married so why can’t God bless me too?

I am frustrated because I feel like it takes men soooo long to mature and understand things that woman had already understood long before they understood it. We can be pretty in touch with our emotions & it’s just flat out frustrating that men are not. I wouldn’t want an overly emotional man. That’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t want a man that is just like a big King Kong stomping everywhere and not taking accountability for the way he treats others. I want someone who is aware of the way he speaks & treats others, but that is so hard to find in a man even though it sounds simple.

And then when I FINALLY DO find a man who has great faith & loves Jesus, he is over 40 years old & has 2 kids! I am 30 & I still feel young at heart. I haven’t been married or had any kids yet. That is something I have desired for such a long time, but for me personally I do not want to be with someone who has kids already. I would like to be with someone who never had kids before so we can share in that experience together. ♥️

However, I can not even find a man who wants to start a family & be a man. I am so easily able to discern and read through a man’s nonsense. You have my Instagram, but you’re still asking for pics? & we met on a Christian dating site?? I can’t with these men.

& don’t even get me started with this old ‘flame’ from my past who I can’t even count on both hands the amount of times I’ve blocked him & he’s the only person in my LIFE to ever not take a hint & create new #’s to contact me on. 💀 He wants to have contact with me SO bad, but yet has an avoidant attachment style. I honestly don’t think he was given much affection as a child bc he is not loving at all. His mother has 3 baby fathers so I honestly don’t think that he respects woman bc of what his mom has done & he’s even told me that they have issues. The way he treats me is INSANE for a person who pretty much DEMANDS me to be in his life. He treats me terribly & then says ‘just wait till I’m rich. It will be a new Joey.’

I am honestly starting to doubt if a family life is really something God has for me. By the way the world is looking these days, men just want a quick lay. To find something genuine with someone is so rare. Men do not know how to communicate & build. Everyone is so afraid of conflict. Conflict is a part of life & we need not be so scared of it all the time. I’m literally taking a class on conflict rn.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent for a little bit & thank you to anyone who read to the end & stopped by. This is my first post & I always wanted to post on here. I think I’ll do more in the future. 🥰✌🏽♥️