Living in Singapore made me HATE my name 😔👎🏻

Before I go on, here’s a little disclaimer!

The things I say are solely off my personal experiences living in SG. If you disagree, that’s fine, but don’t invalidate what I went through! :)

Now moving on…

Hi! My name is Harpreet! I’m Punjabi and in my language it means “God’s love”. In my culture, it’s a beautiful name, and has greater significance knowing a Gyani (Sikh priest) named me. However, living in Singapore (and Asia really), I find myself hating my name, resonating less with its significance, feeling like it’s not part of my identity. Why? Because of the experiences that have shaped me, experiences that I experience until today.

It started when I was in primary school… roll calls were my worst nightmare with every new teacher… “har.. har… what is this? Hapleet? Hapit”… time and time again I went through being the only student in class who had to spend 30 seconds correcting the pronunciation of my name… what’s so hard? If I can pronounce Asian names, and put in the effort to learn proper pronunciation, why it this level of respect for my name not returned?

Moreover, the horrendous jokes made out of my name… getting called armpit?! Are you joking? Harpreet = armpit? Put some respect on the name. Those jokes were never funny. “Gill” was my surname… “oh fish gills! Haha!”..? Haha who? R u dumb? How shallow does one have to be to make fun of someone’s name. Shame. On. You.

I carry this embarrassment with me until now. I tell my prof’s and friends to call me “Harp”, out of sheer embarrassment of yet again being centre of attention correcting my name. One may say that a shortened version of your name is just a nickname… but shouldn’t you know the full name before u shorten it?

My Starbucks name is Zoya. It’s 4 letters. It’s easy to spell and hear. I don’t hold up lines spelling out my name letter by letter anymore. I have resonated with this name so much so that I have begged my parents to let me change it legally. What a shame to my culture…

My reservation name is Jasmine. It’s much easier and faster to greet me and sit me at the table instead of staring at my name before looking at me with confusion right?

Until now, at 21, I hold embarrassment saying my name. All the times I’ve mustered up the courage to say it loud and proud have been met with “huh? Sorry? I don’t know how to pronounce your name”.

My name is my identity. So is yours. Nobody deserves to be ashamed of their name. The next time you encounter someone with a “unique” name, take the time and respect to learn it.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! If you’re offended in any way, refer back to the disclaimer.

Cheers 🥂