First Time Mom’s, Breastfeeding isn’t the Vibe

“Big boobs? um child, any ways” in the words of Nicki Minaj. I always had big boobs growing up and somewhere in my mind it made me think breast feeding shouldn’t be too hard. Big boobs lots of milk right? Wronggggg.

I have birth to our beautiful daughter in February after a three day induction that just didn’t get us where we needed to be. After my c section, once we finally go out of the OR I was able to hold our daughter and start to learn how to nurse. It kind of felt magical. A relief that all of our hard work had paid off. Our little miracle laid in my arms. The only thing that would have made it more magical was if she wasn’t laying on my IV.

I continued to try to feed our daughter. It was going relatively well until the cluster feeding hit. Our daughter was hungry then ever and it didn’t seem like I had enough milk. We choose to supplement with formula since we could continue to do so at home. I remember the first pump I barely got a few ml of milk, then it was 7ml and I was so happy.

This trend of there being a little milk then getting excited over what I produced became a yo-yo effect of me feeling on top of the world and then at the bottom of a volcano. There was never enough milk. We were a tripple feed family for a while. We even met with a lactation consultant to see what I could do better.

Our daughter is not 8 months (almost 9) and thriving off of her formula. She has now even push a sharp little tooth through. So I’m kind of grateful she’s not breast feed anymore. I also just want to remind you that if you are a mom and you are reading this feeling defeated. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s also okay to decide that you are don me breastfeeding. We stopped at 4 months and it’s the best thing I could have done for my mental health. I now get to spend all of my time playing with our daughter and that makes me so happy!

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