Asked for a raise, got a resignation letter🥲

Hi guys! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here but was just reflecting on something whilst in Bali and wanted to see what everyone’s thoughts are & if something like this happened to you.

I am 100% sure the first thing people will think after reading my title would be “it’s probably because you sucked/didn’t hit your targets/relationship issues” when really, I over performed and I wanted to achieve more, but also get remunerated fairly.

📍Situation:

A couple of years ago, I was working for a local company in SG focusing on only influencer marketing. I got laid off from my overseas job, it was Covid and I saw myself being in SG again for a long period of time, and this opportunity came at a good time. During my previous reviews and looking at what I did, I objectively did a good job and in fact performed over to what the job wanted me to do. A year being in it, I decided to ask for a raise (which I think is fair?).

📍How I asked for a raise:

I have a couple of older friends who have given me career advice in the past and I got insight on what was the best way possible to show my efforts and also ask for a fair raise - and by fair I meant SGD500 more a month. They advised that I should set up a meeting with my CEO and prepare an email of all of my contributions in the past year to basically point and explain why I am worthy of the raise. So that’s exactly what I did.

📍Before the talk:

Prior to the meeting I had set up, my CEO asked what my goals were within the company, what I hoped to achieve and where I saw myself in 5-10 years. I answered them saying I would love to learn more, I feel a bit stagnant right now and I would like to take a SEA role eventually as I knew the company had long terms goals to expand. I took these questions as a good sign to be promoted….. but then…. The opposite happened….

📍The talk:

One thing I picked up that made me feel uneasy was that:

1. My CEO moved the meeting to the end of the day

2. HR was now invited!?

I was so confused but I remained positive. I sat down and immediately my boss was thanking me for what I’ve done in the team and I was thinking “why does this feel like a goodbye?” As I’m feeling lost af, she finally says “we can’t give you want you want and I think you need to be elsewhere to grow.” She proceeds to hand me the resignation letter and I was like hold up WHAT? And I asked if I could extend it until I found a job even though it still gave me a month to work. She said no because then my efficiency would be low and tbh, thinking back it’d just be so awkward working for another few months knowing that you need to leave. Additionally, she urged that I was still young and that it would be great for me to work for a larger company to gain more experience and this wasn’t the place.

📍How I reacted:

So there were two ways I could’ve reacted:

1. I throw a tantrum and yell THIS ISNT LEGAL and potentially ruin future relationships (SG is small af)

2. Accept that I need to be in a place that can groom me & leave gracefully

So I took option 1…

Ok JK I took option 2 because honestly, option 1 would not benefit me in any way. I was almost in tears, but I smiled, thanked her for the past year and agreed to sign the resignation letter. She allowed me to finish up all my leave and also share how I wanted to the colleagues that I’ll be leaving. (Which honestly hurt because I was extremely close to them).

I didn’t let anyone see my true feelings but as soon as I left the office and headed to a dinner date with my BF of the time, I started bawling my eyes out thinking why did this just happen? What if I don’t find a job?! Oh man, I’m going to miss my colleagues…. But mainly - is something so wrong with me?

📍What happened next:

I told my colleagues that I’d be leaving on my own accord because I think explaining would just open a can of worms and I just wanted to leave this as clean & easy as possible, making the least amount of noise. Coincidentally, the manager I was reporting to was also leaving and she was one of the main people that made work super enjoyable.

I felt like absolute shit for the next week because I was then going on holiday for two weeks knowing I’d be jobless soon. I didn’t even give myself the break and I was interviewing as much as I could because I’m the kind of person who can’t do nothing haha. I was upset, confused, questioning my worth and all my BF could say was “it’s okay, I promise it’ll all work out and this is a good thing.” I thought what BS he’s just saying this to make me feel better so I don’t ruin his holiday with my tears of anxiety HAHA.

📍Ok, he was right:

Literally on that holiday, I got a LinkedIn message asking me to interview for a role with a huge corporate. I did it because why not and two weeks later, I landed the job with amazing benefits and a pay that was completely above what I was asking for. The job was something Ive never done before and right now, I’m constantly learning something new everyday while feeling like I am remunerated fairly for my work. It’s been 1.5 years into my current role and I am SO happy that I got that resignation letter because I was so focused on my previous job - I was comfortable there. I honestly think part of it was pure luck with the timing because it gave me a full month to rest/travel before starting my new role. To whatever angel is up there looking out for, THANK YOU 😇 Unfortunately, the relationship with that BF ended but oh well, onto better things right? 😆

📍My takeaways for people going through something similar:

I am a believer that things happen for a reason - that when one door shuts, another one opens. Okay sometimes that may not be realistic but I think one thing I’d like anyone to take away is to be somewhere that sees you, wants to grow you, and will remunerate you FAIRLY. I’ve seen situations where people overworked but getting paid like SGD2.5k to people having fantastic salaries but you’re just going to be stuck doing the same thing, with the same role for 4 years. If you EVER, get handed a resignation letter, I also urge you to swallow your pride, and leave on a positive, graceful note. There’s really no point acting out and burning bridges. It’s also good to reflect on what happened with your friends, family or career coach to get perspective on why this has happened. I recently found out from a now CEO that in the past, he was “managed out” and it wasn’t the end of the world - I mean he’s a freaking CEO now with a metal credit card. If upset, know that that ONE job doesn’t define you and there could be so many other potential matches of a job. It’s kind of like a relationship ya know? It’s like when you break up, you’re all butt hurt and your self esteem is at an all time low. But then when you find someone else, you’re like yeah actually that person wasn’t that great and I’m happy I’m with this new person now HAHA.

Anywhos, feel free to leave any comments on this below or share a story of something similar!! ❤️❤️❤️

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