let’s talk ‘3 types of incompatibility in a r/s’ 🌻

helloo girlies,

this isn’t my usual content and its something i don’t really talk about but i recently read about the ‘3 different types of incompatibilities in a relationship’ and found it useful so i thought i would share it with yall. im no relationship expert but here’s my take on it. 🫢

you don’t always get two similar people in a relationship but instead two opposite people. instead of fearing the differences, celebrate it and see it as an opportunity to balance out each other.

however the 3 kinds of incompatibilities: world view, values and way of living is more than just differences in interests. it touches on something more important like how two people approach and view on life may differ or the different moral compass or beliefs each person stands by.

it doesnt mean that two incompatible person cannot be together but rather, communicate, understand and accomodate to find a common ground.

☁️ 1. world view incompatibility

- this refers to differing viewpoints of the world. By ‘worldview’, I don't mean identical political opinions. More than that, I mean ‘similar ideas about how we should live and how we will find meaning.’

the difference in meaning of life is set by your goals and your idea of happiness. for example, you may decide to have a fun life, where one takes risks and have a ‘you only live once’ mindset while your partner see life as an opportunity to help others and make a change. this difference will weigh more than the small differences in interests and hobbies. if two people already having differing ideas of how life should be lived, building a life together would be hard.

☁️ 2. value incompatibility

- refers to different viewpoints on more sensitive topics like money, religion, abortion or even lgbtq rights.

Numerous studies have found money is major source of relationship stress. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that an extreme saver and mega spender would have a hard time staying together in the long run due to incompatible source of joy.

such sensitive topics may also be a deal breaker in relationships if incompatible. this should be heavily considered and communicated when you’re in a relationship.

☁️ 3. way of living

- this incompatibility can be quite broad. it can be more literal like differences in definition of happiness and relaxation or also less literal like the differences in the outlook of life.

It can be draining to date a pessimist if you're a total optimist, and vice versa. This can be even more frustrating if you’re trying to help your partner see the positives of a negative situation, and they shut you down. Having different outlooks on life can become a problem because it shows how you handle tough situations. Think about your car breaking down: If you view it as a small hiccup, while your partner has a complete meltdown, the difference in your reactions and ability to cope won’t make for a very smooth relationship.

how someone relaxes or re-energizes may mean a lot more than you’d think. "Based on how someone likes to spend their weekend, I mentally put people into two different categories: 'activities person' or 'homebody,'" she tells Bustle. An “activities person” is someone who likes to spend their free time out and about, exploring or doing new things. On the flip side, a "homebody" prefers to spend their weekends in, marathon-watching a Netflix series.

If one person likes being out and about, while the other likes staying in, it is highly unlikely that a relationship will be successful. "While it can seem appealing at first, as the relationship goes on, the homebody will become frustrated that their partner always has to be on the go and can never just relax," she says. And vice versa.

☁️ this being said, there are many couples who experience differences in relationships. if you can communicate and disagree (respectfully), you can give your relationship a chance to make it through. try to understand from your partner’s point of view and why it make sense to them. remember, we all have different views shaped by how we were brought up, our environment and influences.

#GirlTalk #relationshipadvice #relationships