It’s my birthday

I have struggled with loneliness my whole life. Always been the girl with no friends or temporary friends that separated over time. I have always had the feeling that I was truly alone and for a long time I hated it. I hated myself and my loneliness and it made me hate my life. My birthday has always been a bad day for me as in the past I usually ended up crying alone in my bedroom as no one remembered my birthday or no one cared enough to call or text. I have a partner now that took me out for my birthday but half way through our day I couldn’t stop crying. I hoped and dreamed for someone to spend my birthday with and now that I have it I feel guilty like I don’t deserve it. I have friends that didn’t text or call even though they know it’s my birthday because I posted about it. I want to feel loved by people I love so much but it’s hard when i feel alone all the time. I’m grateful for my partner and everything they try to do for me. Is it mean of me to feel sad today? Have you guys ever struggled with feeling like your friends don’t care? I just want to connect with people but I feel like it’s impossible for me. #birthday #rant #embracevulnerability