I Blocked My Mom

I won’t get too into the nitty gritty (trauma) for the first post about this. But I will get into why I did this and why I don’t regret it.

🦋I am the daughter of a narcissist. I didn’t realize this until I was 20 years old because I had been gaslit my entire life into thinking I was the problem. It also took me seeking out therapy for my therapist to confirm that my mother is a narcissist. I genuinely thought my childhood was the same as others. I thought a lot of what happened to me was completely normal for parents to do.

🦋The main reason I blocked my mom is because she’s competitive with me. Which is weird right? A parent shouldn’t be competitive with their child. But I don’t mean who can run the fastest or who can cook better. No, for her it was who’s prettier, who’s skinnier, who can wear a skirt better, who attracts more men, who has the more successful boyfriend. And that competitiveness from her ended up festering into jealousy. I mean PURE hatred and jealousy. This all started when I hit puberty. And for back story, I was a AA cup before puberty. After puberty, I jumped from AA to B to DD in the span of a year. After this happened, my mom started being very verbally aggressive towards me. A few months later, she ended up getting breast implants that…you guessed it, were a DD cup. Just so she could be the same size as me. I was 16.

🦋If you think the competitiveness & plastic surgery ends there, it doesn’t. Right before my 23rd birthday this past year, I was home visiting and she sat me down because she wanted to tell me something. She told me she was going to get rhinoplasty because she “broke” her nose when she was younger and she wanted to get it fixed. I supported her and said “It’s your body, and I get it, sometimes I want to get a rhinoplasty too” and she then told me that was crazy because she had shown photos of MY NOSE to her surgeon as reference for her rhinoplasty. She ended up getting the rhinoplasty in August.

🦋Having a mother who’s in competition with you is exhausting and SO emotionally draining. So I blocked her on everything. Text, Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook. And I don’t regret it. Why? Because I am protecting my peace. If she doesn’t know what I look like, how my healthy my relationship is, and how great my life is going, she can’t destroy it. There’s obviously more to this story that I am not sharing yet (gaslighting, physical, financial & emotional ab*se, hitting on my exes, etc). But I am posting this because I know there are other girls and young women out there who also have abnormal relationships with their mothers. If you happen to be one of them, please know you are not alone and you deserved a better parent. I’m always here to talk & connect you with support groups🥹🦋