Premeditated in the first degree.

A little over halfway through #2024 and proud

to say I have a whole murder charge for someone who didn’t deserve to exist with me anymore.

Unaliving parts of me as I hit 30 this year and took

on new perspectives was one of the hardest things i’ve had to do. but, I refuse to be 30 years old still living with the habits of me from 25 years old.

so…

I killed the old version of me who…

• Succumbed to pressure of social drinking:

though I’ve been fortunate enough never to have experienced alcoholism or a drinking problem, I’ve put an end to drinking while “we outside” just because it’s the socially normal thing to do

• Allowed work to consume my mental health: I’ve experienced a violently toxic workspace, and it left me with dangerous levels of imposter syndrome, depressive habits, and physiological consequences. That’s over with.

• Stayed overcritical of my body: This body has brought me through natural disasters, national devastations, physical and mental attacks, spiritual warfares, personal violations, a deadly health pandemic..and the list goes on. And STILL looks bomb. There is no existing criticism of my body that is valid nor tenable.

Tethered myself to people who were no good for me: longtime friends…potential romantic partners…immediate family… everyone who meant me—or my relationship with them— no good through their words and actions?? CLIPPED.

#unapologeticallyyourself #Lemon8 #Lemon8Diary #blackgirllemon8