Piece of the Twilight

A Journey note from 17th July in 2023: After many years had hit me to the bottom. Feel if I'm rejected by the world, I'm not good enough to be loved, my pains are everyone's unconcern. And I'm just nothing to feel what's the feeling of being valued.

Through this captured from last year, I found many stories where I even just realized it this year -- I'm taking a year to finally understand what God said through the experience of my sailing before in a big town in one of the part of East Borneo.

Everyone has their timings and it's literally what I feel nowadays. Howsoever when I continue to force my ideal, if God say it's not my own then I would be finally finished with a bad feeling and hurt upon all of the expectations I had set.

I used to dream of sailing in the town where I had been born there, a piece of the Twilight I saw on that day was one of my biggest dream I had from me in 2010. Then I finally found me, sat peacefully in a small boat with 2 men who they were busy taking the views of Mahakam River at the end of the day -- with our DSLR, we had shot many memories of how humans could possibly continue their lives even sometimes it's even dark and they were lost in nowhere.

Lost in nowhere means something to me. That phase has changed what I am today. God's Time is real, and everything has destined to be my parts will be roled as mine someday in soon.

The reality I had in 17th of July in 2023 was one of the dream I used to have in 2010's me. 13 years passed, then I finally met my destiny in the right destination is exactly the same as what I mentioned earlier.

13 years of life goes with ups and downs. Moved back, left and stayed - even relocated to somewhere I couldn't accept and just ended up with "why" but that day in 2023, I went back to see some parts of me I had left in a town I called "Kota Tepian".

Small boat, 2 men busy capturing the views, the windy river, and smell of brown water -- it was the origin taste of Samarinda -- a place to go back, stay well, enjoy and die even when someday I have to go again to catch another plans of my ups and downs life, but it's still going to be missed and loved, Samarinda.

A piece of Twilight from the last year, the smell of winds and the song I heard from civilization -- Samarinda had stolen a half of my self and he kept it well since then.

A piece of Twilight from 2023 was one of God's promises to me. You will see Mahakam River with a classic camera that you got from a man in 2021 -- And you captured the views while mastering yourself in photography's lesson. God said to me in 2010 -- Well, I met Mini me through the dream of a little girl in 2010 in the modern year of 2023. Thank God, your way is such a beautiful experience.

Samarinda

🌞 Day 1 : As a digital diary of my stressful releases