Going no contact with my mother.

Going no contact with a parent is never an easy decision, but in my case, it has been a long time coming. My mother hasn't had my phone number with my consent since I was 19, yet she still managed to obtain it through others, which clearly shows her disregard for boundaries. Out of her five children, four have chosen to go no contact. It's wild to me that she uses her trauma as a justification for traumatizing her children, yet our trauma is never considered a valid reason to enforce boundaries.

I completely understand why many people are choosing to distance themselves from older generations. Somehow, we’re expected to heal while they remain unchanged. I don’t know what this means for the future, especially since my mother struggles with multiple issues, including addiction. A part of me has spent my entire life dreading the phone call that will inform me she’s no longer alive. At this point, I’m not even sure I want any involvement with her, even in death.

I realize this may sound harsh, but I can't recall more than a handful of good memories with my mother—and none past the age of 8. She was not a good mother, and I’ve spent years trying to hold on to something positive, but I just can’t do it anymore.

#familytrauma #generationaltrauma #embracevulnerability #addiction #mentalhealth