Why I had a hard time accepting I was black

I have always grown up in a all white household and had no other black people near me. This made me have a fear of black people growing up and made me think I was white. My family was never racist or made me feel white but my mind couldn’t comprehend I was black. Being without my dad growing up did not help I think having him in my life would help me understand and accept being black. I have always wanted blonde straight hair and perms and weaves where my comfort blanket growing. Now still as a teenager girl I struggle with my race, sometimes I still wish I was like white girls but I have come to realize I will never be them this majorly effected my mental health. #blackgirlcreator #mentalhealth #mentalhealthjourney