how we met 👀🤍

hello lemonades 🫨

hehe im back w another post again ! im gna be sharing a litt abt my rs and mayb it might help someone who’s gg thru something 🥹

🤍how we met🤍

here’s some context

• my bf & i have been together for 3 yrs plus 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻

• we met thru an online dating platform 💘

• we are total opposites but one thing for sure we are foodies 🤤

• he is 1 yr younger than me

• we went thru a 6 mths LDR ✈️

to be fair, i didnt started off using the dating apps hoping to be in a rs — i started out solely bcos i was bored during the pandemic (almost the end of pandemic whr it was slowly opening up late dec 2020) so i count my blessings that im able to find someone that is serious and mature enough abt being in a rs. heard of stories whr dating apps rs ended badly 🥹

ok so he was the one of those last few people i actually swipe right on cos i was rdy to delete my account and stop using the apps cos it was getting boring after 1 mth plus into it and i didnt actually plan to rly meet anyone in real life. it was rly js chatting with ppl online.

how it started off was that he sent a very simple ‘hello’ to start the convo and honestly it was kinda ‘rare’ looking back bcos i remember the online dating scene back then was alot of pick-up lines and this simple ‘hello’ seemed alot more down to earth and sincere 👀 but i was alr mentally tired talking to strangers online at that point to rly bother w the convo. also it didnt help that i was busy with my uni as i js started my first sem and was stressing out abt it. my response back then were COLD asf with all the one word replies (honestly till date didnt unds why he bothered to still reply me aft i ‘ghost-ed’ him for a good 2 days due to uni assignments)

from one worded replies to the changing moment — all it took was this one question ‘do u like to drink?’ wow man that was the moment it changed forever bcos i enjoy alcohols (not an alcoholic but like i enjoy chill drinking) and our convo went from 0 to 100.. we couldnt stop talking from then on and subsequently we did moved on to tele. we hit it off well and 1-2 wks later we decided to meet up in real life.. & the rest is history hehe 🥹

fast forward 2 yrs plus later — he needed to go on study exchange to hk for a good 5-6 months 👀

i mean i wld be lying if i say i wasnt worried abt the LDR.. as stories of how couples broke off during LDR is real but somehow idk isit we aren’t clingy w each other by nature or that i’m also pre-occupied with work that the 6 mths felt like a breeze? during the last 1.5 mths of his exchange i flew over to hk to find him hehe honestly i felt like i accomplished a big gurl thing too cos i wld never have the courage to travel solo ever cos im super bad w directions and the fact i need to travel to a foreign country alone wow it was rly wow looking back haha

i wouldnt say my rs is not all sunshine and roses; we do have our moments.. most importantly it takes both parties to work together in order to make it work and im thankful to have someone who is willing to be in this together w me.

which brings me on to the next point — a healthy rs and a emotionally stable partner

ngl when we were in our baby stage of the rs, i had issues that were stemmed from my childhood.

pretty sure i had anxious avoidant attachment style whr i was constantly trying to pick arguments whenever the rs was abit too smooth sailing. i wld pickup fights for the sake of it js to get attention from my partner and i only realised much later that it was due to my childhood whr i was always being ‘thrown’ around to diff relatives house whenever my parents needed to work. i didnt realise that it had an emotional impact on me and it has also indirectly affected my rs. despite that my bf was super super patient w me (also super emotionally stable) whenever it happened which had rly helped me to feel secure and put down the emotional baggage 🥹 so now i feel v emotionally stable and secure that i dont feel like i need to pick fights to feel like im being validated.

to sum it up — it is one thing to have our own baggage from the past but it is another to bring it upon to the partner. ik it is not deliberate but its not fair for them and as long as we realise the problem it is possible to change..with alot of love and support ♥️