Everything went downhill in a month..

‼️ TRIGGER WARNING: MENTAL HEALTH ‼️

During the covid lockdown, I was constantly forced to stay at home and I was so glad about it. But who knew, it was the start of everything.

I started having insomnia, not being able to sleep until 3pm (the next day) and taking a 30 minute nap before my body forced me to wake up. This repeated for a whole month.

Then, physical symptoms came. I started having difficulties breathing every night on top of my insomnia, then heart palpitations, difficulty breathing and chest pain. All these lasted for 1 month. Every single day, I say “good morning” to my parents, not because I woke up early. But because, I did not sleep.

I contemplated calling for help 1000 times a day, calling the hospital feeling like I could not breathe and felt like I was dying. I rolled on the floor and could not talk. But kept telling myself every day that “tomorrow will be better”. But that day did not come.

My parents realised that I have not been sleeping and brought me to the doctor. I have been then diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had to take medication, and is still doing so (on off) for the past 3 years. I blamed myself for relying on medication, but realised that without it, I could not function. It may be controversial to some, as some feel that this is just a state of mind and I should “get over it” quickly.

But going through this, I realise that poor mental health brings poor physical health as well. The fear of going through that again constantly haunts me, which is the main reason why I am still continuing with my medicine.

If you are going through something like that, just now, you are not alone.