The emotional journey of leaving the nest 😭

For me, the hardest part of getting married wasn't dealing with the vendors or the to-do lists—it was leaving my parents. As an only child who grew up very close to them, this was the most emotional and challenging part of my journey to becoming a wife... I know it may sound silly/immature, but I'm making this post to encourage anyone who may be going through something similar.

Growing up, my mom and I spent most of our time together. She quit her job when I was in Primary 1 to take care of me and we inevitably became very close. For my dad, even though he worked full-time, we grew a lot closer as I got older, especially during university and after I started working.

When my partner proposed, I was beyond happy and excited. But once the wedding planning started and we began looking for a flat, reality hit hard — I knew that getting married meant leaving my parents' home 😭 The thought of not living with them anymore honestly crushed me... I cried so many times, not because I didn't want to get married, but because the idea of being away from them was overwhelming. Sometimes, it was tears of sadness/missing them. Other times, it was tears of fear, worrying that something would happen to them and I wouldn't be there :'(

What made it harder was that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my parents about how I was feeling. I was afraid of making them sad or having them worry about me getting married. I'm sure they're already dealing with their own set of emotions with their only child moving out... And while my partner was super supportive and comforting when I initially shared my feelings, I didn’t want to keep bringing it up because I didn’t want him to feel like I was having second thoughts about our future together. (This was certainly not the case... I still loved him and wanted to marry him but it was just hard 🥲) I didn’t talk to my friends about it either because it felt embarrassing—do people even get this homesick anymore?? 😂 Everyone else seemed excited to move out, so it felt weird to admit that I was struggling.

But in the end, I made it through, and I want to share how I coped just in case anyone else out there is feeling the same way...

1. Accept that you can feel 2 opposite emotions at once 💕

It’s totally normal to feel both excitement and sadness at the same time. An example would be finishing a phase of your education and moving on to another. You'll probably feel excited about a new stage of life, but you'll also probably feel sad about going different paths from your friends etc. It's the same for getting married; it is a beautiful milestone, but it’s also bittersweet because you’re leaving behind a part of your life. Once I realised it was okay to feel both joy about marrying my partner and grief over leaving my parents, it became easier to manage my emotions.

2. Use small experiences to reassure yourself ☺️

Before the wedding, I spent a couple of weeks away from my parents on holiday, and during that time, I learned that I could handle being away from them. Those little experiences helped me realize that everything was going to be okay. Sometimes we overthink the future, but using real-life examples to show that both you and your parents will be fine really helps.

3. Remind yourself it gets better ✨

This might sound cliché, but it’s true—it gets better! Almost a year into my marriage, things are so much better than I imagined 🥹 After a few nights of tears, I quickly settled into my new routine, and just a few days later, everything feels normal 😂 It's back to work, taking care of the house, going on with your normal routine and all LOL. It also helps that I still see my parents once or twice a week, and I’ve found that our time together is more meaningful. We are more intentional about catching up and savouring each moment, compared to in the past where we sometimes had silent dinners together.

So if you're feeling homesick or anxious about leaving your parents after marriage, know that it's okay. It's a big change, but with time, you'll find your new normal and be able to cherish the time you spend with both your partner and your family 💖💖 Hope this post helps and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments too 🥰