Life in Your Mid-30s! 🗣️

For my Single Ladies who are between the ages of 33-38, gather-round! Let’s chat!

Idk what the hell is going on but for the first time in my life, I feel like these mid-30 years are hitting a bit different! Some of it good and some of it bad, but we’ll get into that.

First, let me level set and give you some “about me” info. I’m a single, Black-female living in the city but with all the country roots. I recently turned 35 years old, no kids, no pets - I like to get up and go when I want to. I have a decent career that I’m way too overqualified and underutilized for (working on correcting that ☝🏽) and I recently started my own business as a Makeup Artist & Beauty Consultant! I’m obsessed with makeup and creating feel-good moments for people so I slapped those together and fell in love!

Now that’s out the way… let me tell you how I’ve been feeling lately and y’all let me know if I’m alone in this or if this is normal at this age.

▪️For the first time, I feel like my clock is ticking. Which clock? Fucking all of them. Marriage. Kids. Career. The whole damn package. I want babies and a family and that whole dynamic. I want my career to advance and be fruitful in all the ways. I want my business to skyrocket! And I feel like I’m racing myself to get this shit done.

Now as a faithful person, I know that timing is not ours… but this whole in-between waiting period really sucks the shit out of my soul at times! I often feel like I’m behind schedule when I’m not even sure what the schedule even is. I just know that the day-to-day space I’m in right now… ain’t it.

▪️Speaking of shit that “ain’t it,” spinning wheels trying to figure out what is… also ain’t it. I’ve burned myself completely out doing all this self-help work, planning, writing lists and just AHH! It’s so much - I’ve had to learn to be okay with just chilling tf out. It means I need a reset - not that I’m not working hard enough…

▪️With that said, I noticed that I don’t practice gratitude enough … I do all that shit above because I don’t realize my small wins all the time so therefore I feel like it’s never enough. In order to grow, you have to appreciate where you are… not like it, but appreciate it. So instead of writing all these things to do… I need to start writing what I have done. 💡 Lightbulb moment… starting that TODAY!

▪️Aside from all of that, I often feel like I am the anomaly. I don’t have kids or a husband or even a dog to walk so my responsibilities are completely different than those closest to me. I can’t lie… it makes it hard to relate. Even when it comes to meeting new people, unless there’s a devoted “Single, Black Female” Club, most folks are married or have babies or serious companions so their time is somewhat limited. Sometimes I want to do “outside” shit but my circle to do that with gets cut each year I swear…

▪️As for outside shit, I’m kind of over it even without all the extra shit. Or let me say my definition of it has changed drastically. I’m so not interested in the whole club scene and all the shenanigans that comes with it. However I do thoroughly enjoy a night out. There’s a difference. But with that I find it harder to meet people because I’m into different shit. Let’s go to brunch instead of the club. Let’s do a working lunch date and discuss our businesses with one another. This applies to friends and relationships for real. My interests are so different now so the folks who see eye-to-eye with me feels slim.

▪️Dating is ass. I don’t even know what else to say about that. Then if you don’t settle for this subpar mediocrity at best that’s out here, you spend 98% of your time alone, which is also ass. I get dating yourself and all that - but there’s only so much of that I feel like doing after a while.

▪️Now I can’t lie and say I don’t enjoy being alone sometimes. I actually love it 65% of the time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to pour into me. I’ve learned the definition of self-love and dating yourself. I also learned how to enjoy life without depending on other people to contribute to that.

However I’m not sure if that’s a protection response bc that’s just always the case? I say that bc I find myself wanting physical company but not just anyone dropping by. Someone I actually enjoy spending time with whether we’re doing nothing, thinking of a master plan or 2, or traveling the globe.

▪️I’ve also become very big on protecting my peace. My life was a fucking circus for quite a few years all due to others and myself disturbing tf out of peace - so I vow to never let that happen again. On the flip side, eliminating those stressors can also cause a form of isolation - and trust issues. So I’m always in this tug-of-war battle with loneliness and peacefulness and it’s tiresome. While sacrificing that peace for someone else’s chaos isn’t an option no matter who the person is, it’s still a hard balance sometimes to not feel alone in that process.

▪️Lastly, therapy and life coaching is KEY! I just rattled off a whole 4858395 words that shows just how important those things are in my life. I stopped a while back because my therapist moved to a different state but what better time than now to restart. Having support in navigating all the things that come along with your mid-30s is absolutely OKAY no matter who you are!

I know I rambled a lot but this is my digital diary and these are the things that were on my heart. ♥️ Are any of you feeling ANY of this? Am I crazy? Let’s discuss!

#30something #lifeinyour30s #mythoughts #singlelife #blackwomen #hellolemon8 #lemon8creator #lemon8friends #lemon8contentcreator #dailythoughts