MY STRUGGLE WITH ANOREXIA

​I have struggled with my body image since I was 7 years old. I remember my mom distinctly making a comment about my belly at age 8. I remember skipping a meal for the first time at 13.

When I left my parents home for college across the country, it was the first time I felt like I truly had control over my life. And that heavily extended into food.

I won’t go into too much detail at the risk of triggering people - and these photos are fairly tame in terms of how sick I was. I’ve since deleted a majority of all my photos at my worst time, as they often trigger me too. All that to say, I was over exercising and eating almost nothing on a daily basis.

I went to out patient treatment that included seeing a therapist and a nutritionist. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) and his family helped me reshape the way I felt about food. Moving away from my parents was a huge win, as my mother enforced a toxic perspective on “health”.

Now, 10 years later - I enjoy food. I eat what I want and have energy to live my life. I have a healthy relationship with exercise. I sleep soundly at night, no longer waking up hungry.

I still struggle on a daily basis. It’s especially hard when every single food menu lists a calorie count but I do my best to fight against my triggers.

Recovery was the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope if there is anyone out there reading this that has struggled with an eating disorder as well, just know that there is hope and so much more to life than this illness.

#lemon8diary #lemon8partner #embracevulnerability #recovery