I lost my mom to suicide 8 years ago, my story💔

#safespace #lemon8challenge

I know this is a bit of a sad post. I’m sorry, but here is my story. It took me years of healing to know that what my mom did was not my fault. To know that what my mom did was because of all of her own hurt and pain. I know that now, but god I miss her so much.

So hear my story.. summed up short. My mom committed suicide in the next room beside me by hanging herself. I found her. This was 2 weeks before my 17 birthday on Oct 10 she was pronounced brain dead and on the 11th pronounced dead, before she actually succeeded with it, she had tried and failed all throughout my childhood, along with my brothers. The home I grew up in was toxic and evil. I’m 24 now and next Friday the 25th will be my 25th birthday. This is the first year I feel Normal enough to celebrate my birthday. The first year I am happy to be alive. My life before I was an absolute mess who had no life in her, who found life in things that did not service me, who had a drunk and abusive father. I was homeless, a high school dropout, and exotic dancer, a drunk, and so much more things that if I continued down that same path I probably wouldn’t be alive to see an other year but now I have finally figured out to love myself and forgive those who’ve hurt me. Because of that I am a strong women. I am an even stronger mother myself. And a wonderful women to my partner. I have found my own family and my own support through all of my trails and tribulations. But thank god for proving to me that there are blessings, thank god for showing me that I am worth it