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I hope this reaches people who need it. ๐ Many people ask "How do I know if they're the one?". ๐
Tips like identifying that "you can be yourself around them!" show up. But imo, sometimes our feelings don't determine that the person is the most suitable for us. Sometimes, we start to wear rose-tinted glasses that bring us to compromise on our values and regret it later on. ๐ซ
So, creating a "๐ฃ๐๐๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐จ ๐ซ๐จ. ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฃ-๐ฃ๐๐๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐จ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ฉ" has saved my time in considering if my bf was the one for me. Staying true to this helps to omit people that I don't need to waste time with.
Many of my girlfriends found this helpful too, sharing that it changed their perspective of finding the "right one". โ๏ธ
Since it's #Postin3, here are 3 steps to creating your "Nego vs Non-Nego" list.
1) ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฃ-๐ฃ๐๐๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐จ โ
Non-negotiables are things you WILL NOT compromise on. If the person misses ONE of these non-negotiables, they're out of consideration.
EG: Respectful of family, share the same depth in religion, manages finances well, communicates openly when upset.
2) ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ฃ๐๐๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐จ โ
Negotiables are attributes that answer:
โข What do you want to see in your partner?
โข What skills do you admire?
This is a list of "It would be nice if he/she had..."
EG: I want him/her to share the same interest in baking. Someone who has a driving license would be nice. I want someone who is open to trying new sports with me.
3) ๐๐ญ๐๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง๐จ๐๐ก๐ โ
This is the plot twist. Are you able to meet the expectations you want your potential partner to meet?
If your bar is high & thorough, good. But remember, everyone is imperfect, including ourselves.
Is your list reflecting a higher standard than what you can show? ๐ซข If not, work on raising yourself to the standard you've set! :)
๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐ก๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐ง! ๐ฟ๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ก๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ก๐๐จ๐จ. ๐ช๐ป๐ฅ
๐ It's important to make personal progress when seeking a potential partner โ The ideal one wouldn't be looking for someone waiting around.
I hope this tip helps you in some way. โค๏ธ Let me know what your experiences are with setting high standards? :)
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