i get posting anxiety on ig

i used to enjoy posting for friends, but around 2021-22, i went through a really bad mental period. i was put inpatient 5 different times at behavioral hospitals bc i was struggling with substance induced bipolar disorder/psychosis. i had insomnia for days to the point where i was hallucinating. i was going through these spiritual delusions. heavily into the astrology/numerology/sacred geometry. i feel like i lost touch with a lot of friends.

i would post really cryptic things on my story that would only make sense to me & i get so embarrassed thinking about it. i wish i could just erase people’s memories of me from that time.

i have been focused on healing & mending my close relationships since 01/2023, but ive noticed that i can’t post without feeling an immense amount of judgement from my peers. i have contemplated on deleting my current ig & making another one with just the people im comfortable with, but ive had this ig since 2017 & i feel attached to my archived posts.

i’m also turning 25 years old this year & expecting a baby in 03/2025 & i feel so immature for thinking like this, but really i just want to be able to post comfortably again without fearing judgement.

idk if anyone else feels the same. i know social media anxiety is real & i know i shouldn’t care what people think 🙄 but idk the trauma has me in a chokehold.

#advice #socialmedia #unfiltered #Lemon8Diary #embracevulnerability #healing