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βAvoidant restrictive food intake disorder, more commonly known as ARFID, is a condition characterised by the person avoiding certain foods or types of food, having restricted intake in terms of overall amount eaten, or both.β
(https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk)
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-Simply being fussy about foods
-Just being a βpickyβ eater
-Attention seeking
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My whole life I have struggled with emetophobia (the fear of being sick / vomiting.) Since I was a little girl, this fear has taken over my entire life. For a few years my emetophobia was almost nonexistent, and life seemed easier. Then I got a stomach virus in April 2022. This is where is all started again.
I should mention that I also have OCD and a fear of germs, which is usually linked to people suffering with ARFID. When I became sick in 2022, my whole life turned upside down.
I began to fear food. Food became my enemy. I was afraid of getting sick again, so I limited the amounts of food I was eating in order to prevent that.
I began losing weight rapidly. I dropped 30 pounds in 3 months. My clothes didnβt fit anymore, my hair became dry and started falling out, and I was constantly passing out.
I would only eat one bagel a day because bagels are a safe food for me. (A safe food for someone with ARFID is a food that feels safe and does not set off certain eating triggers.) I was not nourishing my body and my system started to shut down.
In 2023 I was put on anxiety medication. This medication helped me and eventually I started eating normally again. My love for food came back and I started gaining my weight back.
To this day I am not fully healed from ARFID. It comes and goes. I have bad days and good days.
Now that itβs cold/flu season, my ARFID has resurfaced. This has been extremely discouraging for me. Lately I have only been able to bring myself to eat one βmealβ a day. I say βmealβ because Iβm not even eating enough for it to be considered a meal. My weight is dropping again, my anxiety is very high, and I am feeling very weak. ARFID is a very lonely disorder. It can isolate you, and rob your joy. It keeps you from going out and living life.
I am getting married in 2 months, and shortly after, my fiancΓ© and I are planning to start a family. I want to get better so I can safely carry a baby for 9 months, and be there for my kids. The fear of morning sickness is always in the back of my head when it comes to pregnancy, but being a mom is my dream and it is 100% worth it to me. I want my children to have a great relationship with food, and I would feel so much guilt if I passed my fear of food along to my children. That would break me.
One thing that helps me feel better about my ARFID is reading about other peoples journeys with the disorder. My battle with ARFID is ongoing, but I know I will eventually get better again because I have been there. I have been in the light at the end of the tunnel, even though it was temporary. I hope my story allows me to connect with someone else who may also struggle with this!
I am open to tips & suggestions as well! Thanks for listening to my story- lots of love. β€οΈ
#embracevulnerability #arfid #emetophobia #mystory #anxiety #fearoffood #eatingdisorder #mystruggles #anxietyhealingjourney #healingjourney