#life | Life lessons I learnt that’ll help you too

Going through my early 20s was pretty dramatic - having times of feeling invincible & full of potential, times of heartbreak, times of disappointment, times of pressure & anxiety - and below are some things I learnt the hard way 🥲 hope these will help u navigate life a little easier!!

Also, there aren’t a lot of articles regarding faith/Christianity here but I’m a Christian, so will like to share some tips here as well :) don’t mind me if some lessons I learnt are Christian-related!

1. Actions speak louder than words.

People can lie, but their body don’t.

2. You can’t control everything.

Let’s just face the fact, no matter how much u try to control the things around u and try to make them perfect, things will still go wrong. However, u CAN control how u respond to the situation.

*It’s only when things go wrong that your true character will reveal. Reflect and ask urself why u react this way, what’s the trigger, and what can u do to improve the situation.

Also, don’t feel guilty about the past or worry about the future, it won’t change anything. Sometimes all u need to do is to rly just let go and let God. There’s so many times I try to control what I can’t control and God always just knocks me on my head and ask me “why do u have so little faith in me?” 🥺🥺 yes, He always ends up turning things around for good when I choose to trust Him and step just 1 step forward even if I dk what’s in front of me. 🥰

3. People come and go, and that’s okay.

Some people are in ur life for a reason, and some for a season. It hurts for sure, but don’t let the person make u thinks that u aren’t enough. Shift ur focus to the people who are still around u. Don’t let someone’s absence makes u miss everyone else’s presence

4. Ur vulnerability is ur greatest strength.

Live wholeheartedly, live authentically.

“Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability.” - Brene Brown.

Choosing to love others, to lean into conflict and hard times, knowing they might not respond in the best way, takes incredible courage and boldness, but I believe it’s worth it. 🤍

5. Don’t give up what u want most for what u want now. Look further, look deeper.

*Delayed gratification❗️

6. Love unconditionally. ❤️

Being liked isn’t a pre-requisite to being loving. Treat the person how they r worth, not how they deserve.

7. Everything happens for a reason.

Everyone has their own race to finish, there’s no 100% guaranteed route that will lead u to success, what works for them might not work for u, and that’s ok. Don’t live the purpose of others when u r called for a higher purpose. Whatever path u take, it will lead u to where u r meant to be. There’s destiny in the detour, and God will use every situation for your good, just look at Joseph! From being sold into slavers to bring imprisoned and to the palace 😧 What God has done in the past is not all He’s going to do, and How God did it in the past is not the only way He’s going to do it.

8. Don’t chase for closure.

U don’t need closure from anybody. Closure comes from within.

9. The only constant is change.

Don’t ever be too comfortable in wherever u r at and just stuck there, cos everything/everyone around u is always evolving and improving. Growth is uncomfortable, choose growth. Don’t stay in ur comfort zone - go learn a new skill, change an approach, ask new qns, invest in urself…the only way to rise is to bump into sth hard. U either get bitter or better, u decide!

10. Love yourself first.

Priorities your physical and mental health and learn to truly take good care of urself. Go on solo dates! Be comfortable to be by yourself 🙆🏻‍♀️ You cannot give what you don’t have. Become the one u r looking for is looking for.

11. Heavy > Light, not right > wrong.

If all u consider is right/wrong, u will destroy urself. Don’t let the heavier matter pay the price of the lighter matter.

Eg. The woman who was stoned. Did Jesus stone? No. The heavier matter was dignity and honour, the lighter matter was that she broke the rule. Jesus considered the heavier matter > the lighter matter, not right/wrong.

12. Don’t feel guilty for being unproductive.

- Being able to REST in the presence of God, even in the midst of pain, is a sign of maturity.

- I know in our culture, hustling is more appealing…but what if God just wants you to go slow and steady in purpose? To sustain all that He has for you, your character must be developed through patience. Why? Because the devil knows that if he can distract you from going God’s pace, he will let you disqualify yourself from that position. Don’t let the devil distract you from developing character in this season of your life!!

13. Ego ruins relationships. Be humble.

- Ur purpose on earth is to serve and not to be served.

- When conflict happens, start with reconciliation, not justification.

- Humility is not thinking less of urself, it’s thinking of urself less

- Humility comes from proximity. Stay closer to God than to your accomplishments. Celebrate the giver more than the gift. Don’t let anything/anyone become more important than God.

14. It’s nothing, but a thing.

U don’t have to give meaning to everything nor exaggerate the problem bigger than it is. Don’t tell God how big the problems are; Tell the problems how big your God is! Life happens, but things will get better.

15. Encounter is not the problem, it’s your vessel.

There’s definitely times when u just feel nothing and u feel sian to go church/worship/pray, if u continue to follow ur feelings, u will definitely backslide. Guard ur heart and position ur heart towards Him! God can show up and you can tell Him a thousand reasons why He didn’t. True worship is getting above your problems and see them from God’s perspectives. It’s easy to worship until it physically cost u sth 🔥

Revelation = Reveal-ation. More is not God doing more, but u seeing more.

16. Prayer is a privilege.

It’s a privilege to be able to communicate with God anywhere anytime. It’s not abt making a transaction, but abt making a connection.

And there is power in prayer. Prayer is where your battlefield is, that is where you should go when you're having conflict in your life. So often when I want to battle someone, it's because I want their heart to change, but the only one who can do that is the Lord. There's so much weight in prayer life, you need to learn how to go to battle and be strategic in prayer.

17. Just because ur responses are justified, does not mean it’s valid and that it shld happen as it’s coming from an emotional place and not a spiritual place.

Fruit of the spirit is self-control. Learn to withhold and stay silent in moments whenever you want to sin in your anger.

18. You own nothing, instead, you are a steward of everything, so be fully accountable of how u use ur time, talent and money.

I think when u think of it this way, u won’t wanna waste ur life away so easily. Just look at the parable of the talents, although the servant brought back the same amount given to him, he was punished. Why? Because he did not make good use of what the master had given him. Meanwhile, the other 2 servants were rewarded equally and were called “good and faithful servant” even tho they brought back diff amounts. God doesn’t care about how big or small the accomplishments are, as long as u r making good use of the resources He has given u right now. What are u doing with whatever u have right now?

✨Your life is God’s gift to you. What you do with your life is your gift back to God. ✨

19. Obedience is God’s love language.

God will do miracles, but sometimes you have to obey Him first. Before the water was turned into wine, someone has to fill up the jars with water first, don’t always expect the wine to just appear.

20. Don’t be foolish and make decisions out of desperation.

Learn to be patient and trust God for He is ur provider, He knows exactly what u need.

21. Don’t judge yesterday’s decision with today’s wisdom!

It’s ok if u make stupid decisions. As Brene Brown says, “grace means that all your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of shame.”

22. Strength is not thinking you will always be able to prevent things from falling apart. It is knowing you have the power to rebuild when it does

23. Progression > Perfection.

As long as you are moving in the right direction, it doesn’t matter whether you are fast or slow. It’s also ok to be lost and not have ur life figured out yet. Don’t be pressured to run with others when you are supposed to be walking. DON’T COMPARE!!

24. Contentment is the key to happiness

Jesus is enough. You are perfect in Christ and Christ alone. Anything added doesn’t make you better and anything taken away doesn’t make you less. If Jesus isn’t enough, nth will be enough for you.

25. Saying no is not only ok, it's necessary.

Everytime you say 'yes' to something you're saying no to something else. So if you say 'yes', make sure it's your best 'yes!

26. Sunk-cost Fallacy.

The phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

If the ONLY reason why u r still in that relationship/job/whatever is cos u are in it for so long/u dw to waste those years/u r alr used to it/u r scared that u can’t find someone or something better, LEAVE.

27. Your parents aren't here forever, cherish them.

28. Community does not just happen, it is cultivated.

Be intentional in your relationships with the people around you.

29. I’m only accountable to the Lord.

Other people’s expectations are not ur obligations!!

“Responsibilities are commitments u choose to make and upholding them is a key to take care of others. But expectations are pressures others impose on you and rejecting them is often necessary to take care of yourself.” - Adam Grant.

30. Never ever ask someone to change.

Nobody is perfect, and don’t expect them to be. Throw ur ideal list away and become the ideal person urself. It doesn’t make sense if u want ur partner to be this this this and that that that but u aren’t as good as what u hope ur ideal one will be like.

If u wanna know if this person is the one, pick the most annoying thing abt the person and multiply by 5. If u still love the person, congrats! :) If not, can say byebye alr, don’t bother trying to change the thing abt him/her haha no point :’)

If u managed to read this far, thank you! And hope this helps! 😄

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