how i got over my year-long depressive episode

i spent most of 2023 just moping around and crying, i was just a shell of the person i used to be. most days i’d struggle to get out of bed, and when i did i’d always regret it.

this year i’m in a much better headspace and i’m finally starting to find joy in things again. this of course came with a lot of hard work, but i’m glad that it wasn’t all in vain. here’s some of the things that helped me get out of that slump ٩(＾◡＾)۶

first off, i went to polyclinic to seek help because i knew i couldn’t do this alone. i’ve been dealing with depressive and harmful thoughts for most of my life, but i knew that at the time this was very different. i knew i couldn’t do it alone so i lowered my pride and consulted a doctor for help. he referred me to see a psychiatrist at ktph and i agreed. that was the most life changing decision i ever made.

initially, i wasn’t prescribed medication. my psych referred me for talk therapy to work through my issues; but it didn’t help. i was still so depressed, maybe even more than i initially was, which was when i was prescribed with 10mg of fluoxetine. THIS was the biggest game changer.

personally, getting medication wasn’t just to aid me physically, but also mentally. it was testament to the fact that i was actually sick and it gave me the motivation to strive for better, to heal. the first step of getting better is acceptance, and i think up till i got the pills, i couldn’t accept that there was something wrong with me. or at least, it wasn’t bad enough that it required my attention. finally accepting that i was at a horrible stage of my life really gave me the push i needed to change for the better.

the medication gave me a boost to start up my daily routines. i started going back to school, although i didn’t do the best, but i started going. this was a huge milestone for me as stepping into the classroom really caused me major anxiety. i also started focusing more in my counselling sessions to try and figure out what’s causing me to feel this way. despite this, i still had days where i was emotionally unstable and wouldn’t want to get out of bed.over the course of the next few months, i changed my dosage twice and was finally comfortable.

additionally, i completed A levels and that was the most liberating feeling ever. now i’m doing something i like, and i don’t struggle to leave my house anymore.

my depressive episode was a result of my situation in life and my mental wellbeing. i hated what i was doing at the time and i was also suffering from my mental health; it was a like getting kicked when you’re already down. now that i’ve changed my environment (school to work) i am much happier and i can focus on actually getting mentally better.

if i had stayed in school or retook my As, i don’t think i could be as happy as i am now. i really had to take a step back from my life and realise that there’s so much more in the world than complying to things i’m not good at.

currently, i’m still in counselling and am still taking the medication. i’d be lying if i said i don’t feel depressed anymore, because there are still days where i just don’t want to exist, but i’m feeling significantly better than i did last year.

therefore, the two biggest factors that helped me get out of my depressive slump was starting medication and changing environments! i am so much happier now and i will continue to be even happier. i’m hoping to one day stop the medication and be stable enough to handle my feelings on my own 😌

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #RealTalk #mentalhealthjourney #mentalwellness