MY BOYFRIEND'S MOM

My boyfriend's birthday was yesterday and I didn't know if I'd be welcome, since his mom loooves to exclude me, so my parents and I planned a little party for him at my house the night before.

I spent a good $300 on his gifts, decorated the house in black and red streamers, black and red balloons, happy birthday banners, I custom designed and ordered him a beautiful cake myself - he's goth, and has expressed that he always wanted a black cake and I made that happen for him - and my parents and I took him to dinner. I was so excited and happy to go back to my house after taking him to a restaurant he's never been to, seeing the look on his face, having a fun celebration...

And know what that EVIL 🐍 of a mother of his did?????? Ruined it. She took that away from me.

She knew I'd throw him my own party and she guilt tripped him, telling him before we picked him up to take him to dinner that she expected him home right after the restaurant because "they wanted to sing happy birthday and blow out candles with him"...

....his birthday was yesterday. She knew.

It was another power play, her controlling the situation and pulling the strings. We went to my house for like what, maybe 10 minutes? All that hard work i did and effort was for nothing. And he didn't even have a slice of cake, he took it home. We felt so foolish for getting it out with special plates and everything...

Actually the point of me getting him such a small 5" cake was because when he got me a cake they wouldn't even let me take mine home and they pulled that stunt on me where they all got into it when he and I left and lied to both of us about what happened to it. "It fell on the floor" BS If i can't have mine, they can't have his. Screw them! But anyway.

She knew and made up a lie, a ploy to get him back home instead of letting him spend time with me and she couldn't just leave us alone for one night.

I feel really, really hurt and disrespected. She knew exactly what she was doing, trying to steal my thunder. I'm crushed. I've never done anything like this for anyone, and I was so excited hoping to surprise him, wanting him to enjoy this and that sneaky fucking snake bitch lied to him saying they were doing cake tonight and were waiting for him.

So, I helped him carry all his stuff inside when we got back to their house and ???

They weren't waiting for him, they didn't even say hi to us, they were all just lazing on the couch in their own little world, checked out on their phones. And there was no cake.

AND they didn't go out to dinner. On his actual birthday. They're waiting until the WEEKEND.... aka when HE AND I always spend time together, what we can work out since our schedules don't align. WTAF?! It's her trying to manipulate things.

I feel so disrespected in such a big way. This was all very personal and I'm on fire. I feel sick to my stomach.

even my DAD threw shade at her on Facebook (in a classy way without naming names)... my dad, who usually doesn't care about anything and aims to avoid others' drama.

I did this great huge thing for his birthday, I put all my love heart and soul into it and she had to completely ruin that too and I just feel annihilated. Unbelievable. I know it's just an intimate little surprise party, but it was big to me and I'm heartbroken. I'm so let down and just. idk. I hate her so much. He told me his past girlfriends wished death on her and honestly I 100% see why.

So they're just staying home tomorrow and I'm allowed to come over. His dad asked me if i'm coming. So I played dumb and innocent, "Oh, I'm allowed to come? I wasn't sure if i'd be invited." Even my poor BF didn't know WTF was going on when we went back to his house and nothing was happening. She got one over on us. She couldn't stand the thought of me getting a single moment of joy or a chance to celebrate him the way I planned, so she had to swoop in and ruin it with her petty power games. She’s scared that my celebration would outshine whatever she does, and she can’t handle that, so she had to guilt-trip him with that nonsense about blowing out candles and singing tonight when his birthday isn’t even until tomorrow. And it was a complete LIE. If you’re gonna steal the spotlight, at least have the decency to put on a good show. ‘Cause that performance? Kinda sad.

She predicted I would do something special because she knows me well by now and that I treat her son like a king. She guessed, and doubled down on her bullshit to make sure it wouldn't happen. Her tactics are getting increasingly sneaky and insidious because she knows I can play the long game too, and she's switching up.

Really, though... I just feel so hurt and crushed right now.

He has an early warehouse job and he does have to be asleep by 9 p.m. because he gets up at 2 a.m. so he gets 5 hours of sleep each night, which is reasonable and understandable and that's why his family wanted to "blow out candles with him". She used this information to her advantage, and we were both blindsided.

The next day, I found out that she waited until I was gone, stole my cake, pretended she did everything herself and did the honors without me being a part of it... and didn't even save me a slice, or a breadcrumb. Ummm, who does that? it would've been SO EASY to let me be a part of the cake moment while I was actually there. like, the normal, decent thing to do, right? But NOOO, she had to make it personal, turn it into a petty power move and deliberately make sure I wasn't a part of it. That's the thing. She didn't want just want to enjoy the cake, she wanted to exclude me, and that's what makes it so shady and calculated. Waiting for me to leave. that was so hurtful. This was about control and her making me feel sidelined. She needed to make sure I wasn't there so she could have what was supposed to be MY MOMENT for herself. She had to find a way to make me feel excluded and powerless to remind me she's the one calling the shots and not me. By waiting until I was gone to get into MINE AND MY FAMILY'S CAKE, she made a calculated move to erase my presence. And it's not just about the cake, it's about the message behind it.

This is about what she did to me, personally.

Oh, and on his actual birthday? He and I went to the tattoo shop he used to work at to get him a few small tattoos he designed himself, so at least I could have a private moment with him she couldn't take away from me. But when we went back to his house and I walked in, she didn't greet or even acknowledge me, brushing past me with the cold shoulder like I wasn't there... and then being all sweet and addressing me when she brought out 2 cake ball platters, one for his brother and one for him and we sang happy birthday with candles.

So, being the petty brat I am, I took 6 home for me and MY family for our troubles. A cake for a cake for a cake. Then I posted them on Facebook today with the caption "My family and I LOVE a good dessert!" with the song Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift. She'll get the message and feel the burn.

I'm invited to the restaurants tonight and tomorrow night for my boyfriend and his brother, when I was excluded and not welcome to his birthday last year, but I'm not going. It's not about not wanting to be with my boyfriend, it's about self respect. After what his mom did to me, I'm supposed to sit there like a fool and be an accessory? Yeah, no thanks. I'm watching Gilmore Girls with my mom. Let my absence send a message. If his mom wants to play games, then fine. I've got my own rules now.

Next time I see my boyfriend, I'm going to tell him how the surprise party incident hurt my feelings and his mom took that from me, and he let her and that's not okay. There's a lot more context to this and he's a child abuse survivor, she's a narcissist and I know how victims are conditioned and sometimes blind or immune to the toxicity so I need to help him see what's really going on.

#birthdayfails #birthdaydepression #drama #toxicpeople #haters #toxicrelationship #dramatic #Lemon8Diary #embracevulnerability #unfiltered