DATING SOMEONE WITH BPD

Earlier this week I shared a post about having BPD and I got a comment asking about how to support a significant other who is diagnosed with BPD. It immediately spoke to me and inspired me to make a post all about it because at the end of the day, the most important desire for someone with BPD is to be seen and loved.

Here are some tips I have for anyone who is dating someone with diagnosed BPD.

🤍 Educate Yourself on BPD

Understanding the complexities of Borderline Personality Disorder is crucial when dating someone with BPD. BPD often includes emotional instability, fear of abandonment, and intense mood swings. By learning about the condition itself, you can better recognize when their behavior stems from the disorder rather than the relationship itself. Knowledge will help you approach situations with empathy rather than frustration, and you’ll be better prepared to offer support when needed. It’s also important to remember that not everyone experiences similar BPD symptoms or displays them equally.

🤍 Maintain Clear and Open Communication

Clear, open, and honest communication is vital in any relationship, but especially when dating someone with BPD. People with BPD may experience intense emotions that can lead to misunderstandings. Regular check-ins can help you both feel more secure and prevent miscommunication. When conflicts arise, approach conversations with patience and reassurance, making sure your partner knows you’re there for them even during tough moments. It’s very common for people with BPD to intentionally try to push people away just to see IF they would come back or how far they can go before they no longer do.

🤍 Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for both partners in any relationship, and they’re especially important when one partner has BPD. Establish clear boundaries early on to create a sense of security and respect for both of you. Be clear about what behaviors are acceptable and what isn’t, while also being mindful of your partner’s emotional sensitivity. Boundaries help maintain a healthy relationship dynamic and prevent burnout from emotional ups and downs.

🤍 Offer Consistent Reassurance

Fear of abandonment is a common symptom of BPD, which can lead to feelings of insecurity or emotional outbursts. Reassuring your partner of your love and commitment can help ease their fears. Simple affirmations like “I’m not going anywhere” or “I care about you” can go a long way in calming their anxiety. Consistent emotional support can help them feel more secure and trust the stability of the relationship.

🤍 Practice Self-Care and Seek Support

Dating someone with BPD can be emotionally challenging at times, so it’s important to take care of your own mental and emotional health. Make sure you have your own support system, whether that’s friends, family, or even therapy, to help you process your emotions. By practicing self-care, you’ll be in a better position to support your partner without feeling overwhelmed or resentful.

Dating someone with BPD comes with unique challenges, but with understanding, communication, and support, you can build a strong, loving relationship.

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