A New Type of Need

Max has been so independent for months now. Crawling turned into walking faster than I anticipated. Now this little human who depended on me for literally everything is getting up and getting it himself or getting himself where he wants to be.

I am in awe of him.

I am so proud of him.

But my goodness do I miss his dependence.

Three days ago I noticed Max seemed off. He was clingy and whining. He wasn’t hungry, thirsty and he didn’t need to be changed. Maybe it was a tooth breaking through. Maybe he had some growing pains. Maybe he just was going through some big feelings. I welcomed his needs and did my best to meet them.

Before bed, I noticed he felt warmer than normal. I took his temperature and it read 101.6. I quickly sprang into “nurse mom” mode (I am not a nurse lol) and prepared for the long night ahead.

Max fell asleep in my arms for the first time in months. I was heartbroken because I knew he wasn’t feeling well, but I soaked in every single second he was in my arms that first night.

Around 2am the fever had returned only to be a little higher than earlier. We snuggled in my makeshift bed on his floor and again he fell asleep in my arms.

We went to the doctors in the AM to find out Max had his first ear infection. This may not seem significant, but it was to me.

I had ear infections constantly when I was a child. I remember going to the hospital to have tubes placed in my ears to help lower the amount of infections I was getting. I remember being put under. I remember the anesthesia ( I always picked bubblegum flavor ). I remember holding my mom’s hand as I drifted off to sleep.

Now, here I am. A mother with my own child who has his first ear infection. Oh how my life came full circle for me and for my mom.

For the next two days, Max needed me in a way I hadn’t been needed since he was a newborn. He needed to be held and cuddled. He needed physical reassurance I was going to help him navigate his pain. He fell asleep in my arms. He fell asleep in my bed (something he has only done once before and under protest). He wanted to be everywhere I was.

This new type of need was different from the newborn. He was making decisions on what was making him feel comfortable and I was it.

I have learned that the mother / child relationship is like the ocean. It ebbs and flows. It comes and goes. It pushes far away but always returns.

What are your thoughts ?!

•

•

I am happy to say Max is doing MUCH better and needs me a little less now, but I am grateful for our first ear infection experience.

•

•

•

#sickdayessentials #toddlerlife #toddlersoflemon8 #momsoflemon8 #momsoftiktok #momsofinstagram #toddlermom #toddlermomlife #momoflemon8 #motherhood