It’s okay to not be okay.

There are days where I feel completely lost & not sure what the hell I am doing. I see others around me doing things & I ask myself: Am I doing enough?

The answer is yes. I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing for MYSELF. I am enough. Things may take time and that is okay because I know I will get there on MY own timing.

I have some bad days but I also have some really good ones. I’m still figuring things out, especially this grieving process. It has only been 7 months since my little brother passed & it has been the most traumatic experience in my 25 years of living. I feel like I’m letting him down by not doing more but we live in a society that has all these expectations for us and expect us to have things figured out by the time we get out of high school. I no longer live by anyone else’s rules or their time. I live on my time. I live full of self love. I live for the memory of my brother because unfortunately that is all I have now are his memories but I carry them with me everyday just like I will be carrying all this grief which I have come to look at as the unspoken love for him with me for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I just need a little bit of reminding! I think of where I was years ago and I look to where I am today I am proud of all my progress, big or small. I am where I need to be right now. I will get to where I want to be. Where I deserve. I give god my problems, I vent to him, I trust in him. I know everything will be okay, even on the days I don’t feel okay.🫶🏼

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