And did I have to?

Hello beautiful!!!

Let’s real talk about #relationships for todays #thekaridiaries post. I’ve talked about my relationship a couple times in my series & it seems like a lot of people appreciate my honesty when it comes to how my relationship functions, so #letschat in the comments about what things you’ve had to compromise over in your relationship or what you wouldn’t have given into.

My relationship. I love my relationship, I’ve prayed for this kind of love for a long time, and I feel like I’d sell my soul to keep my relationship in tact for my sanity at this point. All in good faith though - not on some unbalanced type shit… I simply just love and respect my partner. He’s truly my best friend. When you meet the right person, nothing is too hard to give up and being with them is simple. There’s nothing you’d break up over. Breaking up just sounds stupid.

Can I say my partner loves me exactly the way I am? yes and no. He pushes me to be a better version of myself in all of the best ways. He knows what I’m worthy of and what I’m not & he doesn’t hesitate to call me out on my shit. Have I ever tried to be someone I’m not for my partner? HELL YES because I try to show up and be better for him every day. He makes me see my life in a clearer picture and doesn’t try to force me to be someone I’m not. At the end of the day, you change for someone who you have genuine love and respect for, and changing for them doesn’t become an inconvenience ever. I’ve dated people I wasn’t willing to change for because I didn’t respect them or see them as a long lasting partner. #unfiltered lol!! It’s nasty to say but it’s true! I knew I was going to marry my partner a month into dating him, and I stopped fooling around and holding onto my bad habits FOR him. I gave up whatever I needed to better myself for my relationship. Maturing is realizing you have to compromise and change some things about yourself in order to keep your relationship blossoming. Change isn’t always a bad thing. On the backhand, if it’s important to me, if it’s something I stand for - I’m not afraid to say something and make a point known to my partner of why I am how I am. He changes for me too, all of these changes are not one sided. I point toxic behaviors he should work on too.

Here’s a few things I’ve given up to be with my man-

1) I go out less. Take note that I didn’t say “I don’t go out without him”. I am my own person, my partner trusts and respects me and he would never tell me I can’t go somewhere without him. He’s not clingy or controlling about where and what I do with my own time. I have a life, I like to go out and get drinks by myself or with my own friends without him! This is not a bad thing - but I don’t go out all the time anymore, I don’t consistently eat out (we usually save money by cooking), and if I want to go be social and he doesn’t, it’s not a fight for me to go do that. Like I said I’m an individual and so is he. We’re not always on the same wavelength & we’re on the same page about it.

2) Being lazy. I go to the gym and workout with him *almost* every day. Since we started dating, he’s pushed me to take better care of my health. My partner is an extreme health freak. And by God did I need this wake up call. He forces me to go to the gym everyday, and I’m grateful. I needed someone to motivate me to workout truly. I’ve had a horrible relationship with food too, and he explains what I should actually eat, what’s good for me, and helped me have a clearer vision on FOOD overall. I’m beyond grateful for that. He dug me out of a serious toxic relationship with food. We can talk more about this in another post if you want.

3) I mind my own business. Not everything he does has to be written in my calendar. We don’t always have to do everything together. And in the beginning, the clinging was my biggest problem. I always wanted to be around him, if I wasn’t with him I was texting him. And it’s not like this was an issue between us.. because he was obsessed with me too girl. It was more so an issue of staying focused on my own shit! This was a boundary I had to set with myself. Take a step back, and realize he’s not the sun. I can nurture and be present in our relationship after I got done with my work. The biggest advice I can give to any young woman - stop chasing and obsessing over love. Focus on loving and nurturing yourself and a healthy relationship will come in time. As soon as you stop looking for love, love shows up at your door. In the meantime, find a hobby, focus on school, focus on your health, and work. You should come first. Being successful in your own world is sexy!

Here’s just a few. What do you agree/ disagree with?

As always, my DM is forever open to anyone struggling and needing someone. If you wanna rant, talk shit, laugh about something, or dying for me to buy you a drink tonight, Dm me💕 love you girls.

#letstalkrelationships #embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #healthylifestyle2024