How to Identify If You are in a Toxic Relationship

I think this is my first time sharing about my own experience in a toxic relationship😵‍💫 However I have seen a couple of people sharing about theirs & I thought of sharing with you guys my first ever relationship which was sooo toxic 🥲

Long story short, I was with my ex for around 1.5 years but we broke up countless of times during the time frame due to the amount of toxicity. Looking back at how I was being treated made me so angry as I definitely would not allow myself to go through such torment 🥲 But then again, I was so young & it was my first ever relationship…

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝?

My ex was super controlling throughout the whole time we were together that he even forbade me to hang out with friends of the opposite gender🤡 To be honest, back then I did not have much guy friends but he would even get upset at me for speaking to my guy classmates which was so ridiculous…He constantly gaslighted me for hanging out with my girlfriends as well, stating that I would rather hang out with them than him…

During the first 3 months of dating, there were sooo many red flags already🥲 He would constantly pressure me to sleep with him when I clearly told him that I was not ready but he did not respect it. Low & behold, after 3 months I decided to break up with him as I told him that he was being really disrespectful. However, the poor me fell into his traps as he apologised and promised to change🤡 I decided to give him another chance…

During remaining months, I would constantly be gaslighted when we got into fights as he would NEVER admit his faults despite the fact that I apologised even though i did nothing wrong. One thing he did when we fought would be to block me on all social media & on his phone so I could not even explain myself💀 When I broke up with him the first time after being pressured into having sex with him, he got upset & demanded me to transfer him back the stuff he paid for me willingly💀💀 Towards the end of the relationship, I was really sick & tired of being treated like that🤡 He would constatly threaten to break up with me & some ridiculous reasons would be:

1. We had just graduated from poly and my poly internship company actually wanted me to continue working for them until my university semester starts! Instead of being happy for me, he wanted to break up with me as I accepted the offer & his reason was bc we can’t spend time tgt🤡 (we literally meet once a week so idk what was his deal)

2. My friend who was a photographer reached out to me as he wanted to get some portrait shots for his freelance job & to build his portfolio but my ex went crazy over it & he asked if the reason I agreed was bc I wanted to be famous?💀Mind you, I was literally helping a friend out & it was in an outdoor setting where everyone can see us. He told me “I don’t want my girlfriend all over the internet” even though I explained that it was just to build my friend’s portfolio. The worst thing was that he said I wanted the attention & he doesn’t want to be with someone that loves to take photos💀💀 GIRL WHAT???

He even berated me on why I was always posting on instagram & questioned me if it was bc I wanted guys to hit me up through IG🤡 There were many other incidents but I think if I typed all of them out, it could be a whole book😭 The MOST ridiculous thing was that after I finally ended things with him, he was so rude abt it, even saying it was only MY fault that the relationship ended. However, after a few days he texted me asking for me to forgive him & if we could get back tgt🤡

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞?

- If he does not respect your boundaries

- If your friends around you constantly tells you that this guy is not a great guy (Usually people not involved in the relationship are able to see a better picture of the whole situation!)

- when you guys quarrel, he would hurl vulgarities & demeaning remarks ( A MAJOR RED FLAG)

All in all, that relationship left my scarred & I took my time to heal for about 2.5 years before I met my current bf! From that relationship, I learnt sooo much & I was clear on what type of guy I was looking for! I was really grateful for my friends as they were constantly there for me & gave my loads of advice🥲

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